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“Since we’re talking, I think it’s best if we get everything out in the open. I want complete honesty, on both sides, or this will never work. And, since we only have a short time, I’d like to be sure we cover everything so we’re both on the same page and in agreement before Sloane comes into the picture.”
“Sounds good to me. I like honesty… as long as it’s not passive aggressive or used as a weapon,” I told him.
His eyes shifted to me again.
“Explain,” he said simply.
I took a deep breath.
“My ex-boyfriend was verbally abusive,” I admitted reluctantly. But, to have full-disclosure, this information contributed a lot to the person I was. “I used to be overweight, and he always told me not to eat chips because my ass was already too fat, or to order a salad at McDonald’s or I’d get another chin… stuff like that. But, he also always made sure our cupboards were stocked with snack cakes, candy bars, and other junk food. When I finally had enough and left, I made a lot of changes in my diet and started to exercise. Anyway, what I meant was… the things he said were technically true, although mean and used to keep me down and under his control… so, while I want honesty, I won’t stand for cruelty.”
Bane was gripping the steering wheel again, this time, hard enough for his knuckles to whiten, but he didn’t say anything for a few minutes.
Finally, he said through clenched teeth, “You have my word.”
Four
Bane
My wolf snarled within me at Katja’s words, unable to abide the thought of a woman being abused in that way. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself and not come across as a rage-filled animal, although I was.
“Thank you,” she said softly, her voice sweet and lilting.
Honestly, everything about her seemed to pull at something inside of me. She was beautiful, with the lightest blonde hair I’d ever seen, bright blue eyes, and a runner’s body. All of that paired with her sweet voice and hint of vulnerability, made her a threat to everything I wanted out of this trial.
In fact, I’d been fighting the urge to reach for her, to feel the warmth of her skin beneath mine since we’d started out, which had me wondering if we’d even make it through the week before I sent her packing.
Could I afford to have this strong of an attraction to the woman I wanted to mate for the rest of my life?
I wasn’t sure, but it felt like a betrayal to Sarah to feel this way. To be so aware of the person sitting next to me.
I cleared my throat and thought of what I wanted to convey.
“As I said in my message, I’m not looking for a love match. I’ve already had, and lost, my mate, and am mostly looking for a mother for Sloane. I will provide for you and care for you, and I hope, in time, we will develop a great friendship, but my heart is already spoken for,” I said, glancing at her briefly to gauge her reaction.
“I understand,” Katja said with a small smile. “And, honestly, it’s a relief. The last man I was in love with treated me like garbage, and I vowed I’d never allow myself to become that vulnerable to another person again. I’d like to be your friend and look forward to being there for Sloane.”
I smiled, pleased at her response.
“Can I ask a question? You said we should get it all out of the way, right?”
“Of course,” I replied. “Ask me anything.”
“What about… sex?” she said softly, and my body instantly tightened in response. “Are we going to be intimate in that way? Or will our marriage, or mating, be in name only? Will we be looking for companionship outside of each other? How will that work?”
My mouth went dry and my muscles strained.
I hadn’t had sex since Sarah had died, although I’d had plenty of opportunity. Still, I never imagined that I’d go my entire life without ever having sex again. And, Katja was a gorgeous young woman; of course she’d have needs of her own.
I chuckled dryly.
“I hadn’t thought of it,” I admitted.
“You haven’t?” Katja asked, surprised.
I could understand her surprise. I was a virile man in his early thirties, and wolves were very sexual creatures. I just hadn’t found anyone that tempted me since Sarah.
“What would you suggest?” I asked, swallowing hard as I waited for her answer.
I was unsure if I wanted her to say she wanted us to have sex, or that she’d find a discreet relationship outside of us.
Just the thought had my wolf ready to revolt. Cheating on your mate was unheard of for wolves.
“Well…” Katja began, and I could tell she was nervous. “If I’m being honest, I don’t know if I could be married to you, or claimed by you, and have either of us sleeping with other people. It goes against everything I believe in, and, I’m worried that might be a deal breaker for me. I’m sorry; I don’t mean to end the trial before it’s even begun.”
I thought about what she said and realized it was in line with the way I felt.
I let out a breath.
“I agree. It would be confusing, not just for us, but for Sloane. And, if word got out and the pack new we were sleeping around on each other, there could be repercussions. Once the claiming is complete, we’re mates for life, other intimate relationships are not an option.”
I felt Katja tremble slightly next to me and wondered if it was from fear, or anticipation.
“So, we’ll be committed to each other,” she confirmed.
I pulled into the parking lot of the local diner, turned off the car and put my arm on the back of the seat, facing her fully.
“You should know that I haven’t been with anyone since Sarah, so it may take some time for me to be ready…”
“I understand,” Katja said, reaching out to place a reassuring hand on my arm.
My skin beneath her touch felt branded, and my body began to thrum at the feel of human contact. Her contact.
I looked into her bright eyes and gave her a small smile of thanks.
I saw her lips part and her chest heave and knew she was as affected by our nearness as I was. When her desire hit my nostrils, I bit back a groan and knew we needed to get out of the jeep before I lost all semblance of control.
“Are you hungry?” I asked tightly.
Katja looked out the window in surprise, as if she hadn’t realized we’d stopped.
“Yes, actually, starved.”
“Great, let’s grab some food and then I’ll show you around the area before we head home.”
“Sounds good,” she said, and I breathed a sigh of relief when we jumped out of the jeep and the charged front seat.
Five
Katja
I couldn’t believe I’d just negotiated a lifetime of sex with Bane.
I mean, yes, we were being forthcoming, but I’d never been that brazen before in my life. Still, it was a question that needed to be asked, because, hello, we were talking about the rest of our lives here, and even after only knowing him for mere minutes, I’d known I wouldn’t be able to pledge my life to him and Sloane and then watch as he went off with other women.
That wasn’t what I wanted out of marriage.
I mean, sure, there wouldn’t be love, but by golly, there was going to be sex.
The problem? Now that we’d talked about it, sex with Bane was all I could think about.
I noticed his forearms when he gripped the menu, the deep tinder of his voice when he talked to the waitress, and how tight his ass had looked in his jeans as I’d walked behind him. I was so turned on, I was practically panting, and what was he doing?
Ordering a burger and fries and smiling at the waitress.
Ugh.
Get ahold of yourself, Katja.
“Can I get the house salad with grilled chicken and the dressing on the side, and a water, please?” I asked when it was my turn.
“Coming right up,” the waitress replied, and then we were once again alone.
“So, you said after this you’re going to show
me around?” I asked, needing to get my mind out of the gutter.
“Yeah, I figured I’d show you the town, then we can stop by Yonaweti, and then I’ll take you to the house. Tomorrow, I was thinking I’d take you on a hike and we could camp out. I’ve got this week off from work, so we may as well make the most of it.”
“That sounds fun,” I said, but all I could think about was Bane and me, under the stars, maybe naked? I shook my head to get the mental image out and added, “I may need to pick up some supplies.”
“I probably have most of what we need, but if not, we can use my discount and get the rest at Yonaweti.”
“Awesome,” I said with a grin.
Our food was delivered, and as we tucked in to eat, Bane asked, “Have you always been a Nanny?”
“No,” I replied as I dipped my chicken in my dressing. “I had odd jobs as a teenager… gas station attendant, cashier at a drug store… and I have my business degree. After I left my ex I needed a change of pace, that’s when I saw the ad for the live-in nanny. It seemed like the perfect escape, so I applied. When they moved, I rented a room monthly, and she ended up getting engaged, so there went that… then I started the profile on the dating app, and here we are… What about you? Have you always wanted to be a guide?”
He was chewing, so it took a few seconds for him to answer.
“I’ve always loved outdoor sports and activities, although when I was with Sarah, I had a more active role in the pack. When she died, I left those duties behind and needed to find something different, something for me. So, I turned my love of hiking, camping, and fishing into a job. I love what I do, and it gives me the autonomy to be there for Sloane. I do have a couple ladies who watch her when I need them to, but for the most part, it’s been just the two of us.”
“Do you think she’ll be okay… with me, or someone else, coming into your lives and sharing that parenting role with you?” I asked, curious about Sloane.
“Yes, I honestly do. Sloane is a special little girl. She loves everyone she meets, is open and funny. She’s never had an issue with anyone, and always goes out of her way to be sweet and kind.”
Bane’s face lit up when he talked about his daughter, which only endeared him to me more.
“I can’t wait to meet her,” I said, hoping I wasn’t being presumptuous. “Where is she now?”
“With my brother, Gray.”
“Does he live here in town?” I asked.
Bane shook his head.
“Nah, he’s got a farm about an hour away. He moved there years ago and never leaves. When we want to see him, we go to him. He used to be part of the pack, but that was when he was much younger. Now, he prefers to be alone.”
“Oh,” I replied, unsure of what to say.
“If we stick it out until the second week, I’ll go get Sloane alone, just so you know. My brother won’t meet you until the claiming ceremony is complete. Kind of like Sloane, I don’t want to cause him undue stress if we aren’t going to make it the distance… I hope you understand.”
“Sure, of course,” I said, although I really didn’t. But, I supposed if Bane’s brother didn’t want to meet strangers then that was his business. “What about your parents, do they live nearby?”
“No, both of our parents have passed.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“How about you? Are your parents in Florida? Any siblings?” Bane asked, popping his last fry in his mouth.
I shook my head.
“My parents divorced when I was little, and I never really knew my dad. He’s in Virginia with his new family. My mom remarried while I was in college and lives in Puerto Rico with her husband, so I rarely see her. No brothers or sisters.”
“Puerto Rico, that sounds fun. Have you been to visit?”
“Once, but it was awkward. I don’t really know my step-dad, and he has children of his own, so… it just seemed better to stay away.”
Bane nodded, but didn’t say anything else about my depressing home life.
“Ready to get out of here?” he asked.
“Let’s do it.”
Six
Bane
I don’t know if it was our up-front discussion about sex, or the fact that Katja was the first person in a long time that I’d been attracted too, but the sexual chemistry between us was off the charts.
All we’d done was sit in my jeep together and enjoy a meal, but as we drove through town and I pointed out the sights, such as they were, I was very aware of Katja.
The light, coconut smell of her skin, the way her tinkling laughter filled the space, and the slight upturn of her lips as she enjoyed the windshield tour. When we stopped at Yonaweti I had to force myself not to take her hand in mine as we entered the building.
I had the urge to stake my claim. To let every male, female, and beast within the state, know she was mine.
It was disturbing and frankly, confusing.
“Go ahead and have a look around, I’m going to go up and check my schedule, make sure nothing new has popped up.”
“Okay,” Katja said with a smile, then headed toward the women’s section.
I jogged up the stairs to where the offices were and stopped in the hall to look at the board.
When I saw there were no changes, I walked down the hall and to the left to see if Mal was in. He and Kai were the owners of Yonaweti and technically my bosses. Mal and I were pretty good friends, and although I didn’t hang out much with Kai, he was cool, too.
They were bear shifters, so they tended to be loners, rather than pack animals like I was, but Mal and I had always gotten along.
He was the one who’d told me about the Paranormal Dating App, after he and Kai had joined and found their mate. They’re a triad, three people in a committed relationship. I’d gone to their claiming ceremony with Sloane, and had felt inspired that they were able to find happiness using the app.
So, I’d decided to give it a try, and here we were… in the middle of my first, and hopefully only, trial.
I looked through the large glass windows to see that Kai’s desk was empty, and Mal seated at his, eyes on his computer. I walked over and rapped lightly on the open door. Mal looked up and grinned.
“Hey, Bane, how’s it going?” he asked as he stood and rounded the desk. “I thought you were off this week.”
“I am,” I replied, shaking his offered hand. “Katja and I stopped by to pick up some stuff for our hike tomorrow, and so I could check the board.”
“Katja? From the app?” he asked.
“Yup, I picked her up a couple hours ago.”
“That’s great, man, I really hope it works out. For you, and for Sloane.”
“Thanks, brother. How’s everything going with Tori?” I asked, talking about his mate.
Mal’s face lit up at the mention of her, and I felt an unsettling pang of envy.
“Great. Perfect. Better than I ever expected,” he replied. “We’re pregnant.”
I blinked. Shocked.
“Wow, that’s great. Congratulations.”
“Yeah, I’m so excited to be a dad… and, you should see Kai. Dude never loses his shit over anything, but I swear, he can’t stop buying things for the baby. There’s already a crib up and everything. He’s beside himself.”
“That’s great, truly… nothing better than being a father,” I told him, then remembered Katja downstairs shopping alone and said, “I’d better get back to Katja, but we’ll talk again soon.”
“For sure, we’ll have to have you guys over for dinner, if everything works out.”
“Sounds good,” I said, then turned to head back downstairs.
I found her in the back looking at hiking boots. Her short curly hair looked slightly rumpled, but still gave me the urge to put my hands in it and mess it up even more. I wondered if her hair was naturally curly, or if she did something to it to make it that way.
When I realized I was standing there, staring at Katja and thinking about her hair, I gav
e myself a mental slap and approached her.
“You know, if you have sneakers or running shoes, that’ll be good enough for the hike we’re doing tomorrow. It’s not a difficult trail,” I said, thinking I should have given her a heads up so she could have packed for what I was planning.
“Oh, I have both hiking shoes and running shoes with me, I was just checking out what they have in stock,” Katja replied, her lips curving up at me.
I felt that look right in my chest, but tried to brush it off.
“Ah, I see… well, find any good deals? There’s actually a Friday the thirteenth sale coming up… don’t tell anyone I told you, but you may want to hold off,” I said, leaning in and talking low.
Katja chuckled, like I’d hoped she would, and whispered, “Thanks for the intel. Can we come back on Friday?”
“You bet,” I replied with a grin. “Is there anything else you want to look at?”
She shook her head.
“No, I’ll wait to see your goodies, then decide if there’s anything else I need for our adventure.”
“Perfect, then let’s head to the homestead,” I said, gesturing to the door, then putting my hand on the small of her back and leading her out.
I swear a charge of electricity ran through me at the slight contact, and I wondered how I was going to handle the undeniable chemistry between us. Did I ignore it? Wait to see how the trials went before taking that next step? Or should I go for it and see where it leads?
I wasn’t sure yet, but I had a feeling that once our relationship did turn physical, it was going to add an element that I may not be ready for.
Which is why I decided to wait. No use confusing things off the bat.
Seven
Katja
When Bane pulled up to his house, I had to hold back a sigh of pleasure.
It was utterly charming. A pretty blue ranch house on what looked like a couple acres of land, with no houses nearby. It had a wraparound porch, a bright red door, and tons of windows. It was the kind of house you’d never see in Florida, and I couldn’t wait to see inside.